You can relax now. It’s all over: the spouting off, the shocking comments (that your friends are still talking about) and the emotional highs and lows. You’ve decided, after all that, you want to give yourself a treat. It started last night when you allowed yourself to have some fun. Let the good times and the relaxation continue straight through the weekend. And don’t spoil it by feeling guilty, either.

Positive feelings and high self-confidence make this a good time to go out, meet with people, or get some recognition and support for creative projects. Women in particular are especially helpful to you now.

funny how

people think you’re closer than you really are. How you’re more in it than you really are. I’ve had my foot out the door for a long while. Enjoying people while you’re sober is important, enjoying people while you’re intoxicated-more important. I love smoking, you have no idea. It seems I’ve become this cold person- I guess i used to be sweet. I used to over analyze and care. Now I’ve become careless and I rarely think ahead. It’s mostly in the moment. Although, Mary Jane has affected my life in some ways that are negative- I feel as if I’m a better me. I’ve stopped over analyzing problems with friends and ex-boyfriends. I’ve stopped caring about things and people because they are not as important as they used to be. If I act like I don’t care it is simply because I don’t. At times I want to tell everyone they suck at being a friend towards me. I can’t wait to leave this state. Chicago will always be my home I just need to live on each coast before I’m too old to enjoy them.

It’s kind of upsetting that one person can make you feel infinite one minute and the next you can’t help but hate everything about them. My ex-boyfriend and I have the most complicated relationship, and that’s an understatement. He’s the only person that knows me, I’ve known him since I was in the 7th grade. He’s the only person I can never leave in the past. And even though he’s hurt me more than I’d ever tolerate from someone else he still has the ability to make time freeze when I’m around him. I guess it’s hard to understand why he’s still around. I don’t understand it myself. But as time passes by and his actions cross more and more lines. Which for the most part I’ve become numb to. I can honestly say that he means nothing. He’s just a person that once meant everything. Part of me will always care about him, I can’t help that. That’s where my sweet side comes creepin up on me.

Fuck everything.